Your vague headline is killing your website

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I've done 10 copy reviews this year, for all sorts of companies. And in eight of those copy reviews, I gave the same feedback: "make your headline more specific."

After giving this feedback for the eighth time, I started poking around the internet with it in mind. And I did not like what I found. The eight websites I looked at were just the tip of a much larger iceberg. Vague headlines are a mistake that heaps of companies are making - and if yours is one of them, you should change it immediately.

 

But first, a good headline

To show you what I'm talking about, I'll start by showing you the opposite.

Here's a really good website headline from a business called HNRY. It’s actually a subhead too, but I’m going to call the whole thing a headline for brevity’s sake:

(Note, I am a HNRY user, and HNRY is a client of mine, but I didn't write this headline.)

Anyway, this headline is good because it fulfills three basic functions. It tells us:

1. Why you should work with HNRY ("Never think about tax again")

2. What HNRY does ("automatically pays and files taxes")

3. Who HNRY is for ("self employed Kiwis")

Straightforward stuff!

[Edit February 2022: here’s a sub-3-minute video I did on this headline. Take a look:]

But the reason I'm bringing this up is because HNRY is an exception. Take a look around the internet, and you'll see fewer headlines like HNRY's, and more headlines like this:

This is from some outfit called Proof. As you can see, it's a vague headline that talks about wide benefits, but doesn't communicate specific value. Who is it for? What does it do? Who knows! Not me!

(Hat tip to copywriter Abby J Wilson, who pointed this example out in a weekly video teardown. You should follow her on Linkedin).

This is just one example. You won't have to look far to find more. These vague headlines are all over the place. And they do the companies behind them a real disservice. If people can't quickly figure out what you do and why to work with you, they're just going to navigate away to a provider who will give them that information. It's a high stakes game.

You are not Hubspot (yet)

One reason I think this happens is because we naturally look to industry leaders for guidance on best practices.

For example, here's an industry leader in the marketing automation space - Hubspot.

Pretty vague! It's making the same mistake I've been griping about for this entire email. It really doesn't tell us what Hubspot is, who Hubspot is for or why (specifically) you should work with Hubspot.

So if you're in charge of the website for a smaller, more niche marketing automation product, you might think "well, Hubspot have followed this vague, aspirational copy strategy, so I should probably do the same."

But here's the big difference: you are not Hubspot.

Hubspot is so ubiquitous amongst its target audience that it doesn't need to spend time on its website explaining who it serves and what it does. But you do! Your buyers don't automatically know what you do, because you're not (yet) the #1 provider in your field.

The big players can, and do, get away with this. They have the backing of years and sometimes decades of brand building to fall back on. You don't have that luxury, so tell people what you do!

Wrong stage of awareness

The other reason I reckon this happens is to do with the stage of awareness. Long-time subscribers will recognise that as my favourite marketing framework.

It's basically a way to categorise your audience. Take a look:

I think that some companies are under the impression that their website's audience is less aware than they actually are.

Headlines like Proof's headline up above ("boost your website conversions by 15% in under 15 minutes") are really good for people who are aware that they have a problem (a website that doesn't convert as well as they'd like), but not aware of the solutions to that problem.

But here's the issue: basically nobody on a company's website is going to be in this stage of awareness. They're all going to be in a more-aware stage.

And when people are in a more-aware stage, they need more details. People on Proof's website know that there are solutions to their website conversion problem - that's why they're on Proof's website looking for one! They need the details on how Proof can deliver that solution. That's the kind of information that should be in the headline.

Let's wrap it up

So take a look at your website. Pretend you're a potential customer, you've come from an ad, a search, a referral or something else. What information would you need to keep scrolling down the page? Is your headline providing that information?

In other words, can you answer those three questions I mentioned up the top?

1. Why should they work with you?

2. What do you do?

3. Who are you for?

If not - better get to work changing it. There's a lot riding on that headline, so make sure you get it right.

See you

Sam

PS: As always, you can have me look at it for $599.

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