Copy review: value props, proof points and more

(This originally appeared in my newsletter. Sign up now to get content like this, for free, every two weeks.)

Let me introduce you to a company called JobaMatch.

Not long ago, I offered free copy reviews to anyone who wanted one. The catch? I get to video the review and post it publicly.

JobaMatch was one of the first companies to sign up for a free review. Take a look at it below. Or, if you don't want to watch a 17 minute video, keep scrolling to read a text summary.

#1: The value proposition isn't clear enough

(Check out a one-minute video of this feedback over on Linkedin).

JobaMatch's main differentiator is that it turns job hunting on its head. Rather than search for jobs and apply for them, you upload your CV and employers find you. Sounds good.

Here's the problem: that isn't made as clear as it could be. JobaMatch is up against some pretty stiff competition by the likes of Trademe Jobs and Seek.

This means that they need to be very explicit about how they are different from these incumbent job boards, immediately. Otherwise, jobseekers won't have a reason to keep reading - they'll just close the tab and open one of the big job boards.

So JobaMatch need to update their headline and their body copy to focus on that key differentiator. It's the main reason someone would choose them over a competitor, so it needs to be clear.

2: The proof points need to be more relevant

(Check out a one-minute video of this feedback over on Linkedin.)

JobaMatch put some proof points on their website - 2400 members, 1200 seeking employment, 132 businesses.

I don't know if those numbers are high or low, but more to the point, it doesn't really matter.

Proof points need to connect to your value proposition. Since JobaMatch's value proposition is around flipping the job application process on its head, the proof points should show why this is a good thing. For example, they could put:

• Average time to fill a job

• Average number of employer applicants

Or something like that, which really shows how the value proposition makes your life easier.

3: And a couple of other things

I also mentioned a couple more things. First, I suggested they focus more on a niche. This would make their headline and value proposition even more compelling for people within that niche.

I also suggested some gentle edits to their body copy, just to tighten things up. This is pretty minor in the scheme of things, though. My view is that copywriting is more about making sure you're writing about things that resonate with people in the first place. If you can nail these, then concise, direct writing should be your next priority. But it's notthat useful if it's about something that isn't resonating with people in the first place.

Still, it's worth taking a look at - it doesn't take long, and it certainly doesn't hurt.

You can probably apply this advice

A lot of the advice I gave in this copy review is widely applicable. So take a look at your own material. Is your value proposition as clear as it could be? Do you have proof points to support the story you're telling?

It's worth taking a look. And if you can't be bothered, just have me do it. $599 if you want to keep it to yourself and have it quickly, or free if you don't mind me making a video when I get around to it.

If you like what you just read, you can get content like this delivered straight to your inbox at 6am every second Monday. Sign up now.